As a kid or even as someone in their 20’s it was easy to meet people, get to know them and form friendships with them. Now, with having kids when do you have time? How do you start talking to people? It isn’t easy with kids. It actually almost feels like that awkward part of dating where you don’t know where to begin.
Then when you think you are on the brink of starting a new friendship work, the kids and honestly just being lazy get in the way. Sometimes I really do feel like just sitting on the couch with a cup of coffee, not socializing. It can make motherhood sometimes feel like a world of isolation that you can’t dig yourself out of.
When Steven and I were pregnant with our first son and I was about to give birth I would walk every day hoping it would trigger contractions (it never did). During my walks, I would always see another couple pregnant and it looked like she was about to pop. A quick wave or passing by always occurred but apparently we were too nervous to even approach each other.
It got to the point where if I would see them outside I would tell Steve let’s go now so we can maybe run into them. One day it just happened. We passed them on the street and stopped to chat. It turned out we lived 3 houses down from each other and were due about a week apart. This was the beginning of an amazing friendship. The multiple days of our walks with the kids, the playtime, the birthdays and everything else was just very easy for us.
While now we don’t live 3 houses down from each other, our children still know each other and play and we still make time to keep in some type of contact. Maybe stalking people isn’t the best way to make a friendship occur but there are some great ways to meet other moms.
Ok, so maybe Facebook is a pain, maybe it can be too much but the mom groups can be so incredibly powerful. Being apart of a mom group of over 10,000 people ( I have been a part of it since it was about 2,000) made me realize how many other moms are living so close. I have found people in my town that have kids around the same age. Now while this won’t always happen so easily, it can happen. What are you into? I am certain there is a moms group for it. Just look it up and who knows, if not create it. I also would join the moms resale page in your area. There is always one.
Playground or Indoor gym
This is a great place to meet other moms. I would head on over one day during the week that you hopefully don’t have to work and just let your kid enjoy. They may make a few friends and you may also in the process.
Library for story time
I used to take Tyler to the Library in Colorado for story time. He had a ball and I started to talk to other moms with children about the same age as him. While this was great, this never really evolved into a friendship. I met people but we never got together for anything else. This brings me into my next point.
How can you develop a relationship when you don’t exchange information. When we first moved to Colorado I met a mother and son at the playground. Tyler had a blast and I started to talk to the mom. We made plans to meet up the next day at the same time so they can play. Well, I got up, ready and went back. She never showed. So exchange information that day you meet them. When I moved into my new house in NJ I remember my next door neighbor gave me her number the first moment we met and now our boys who are both the same age are amazing friends. Without this exchange, how long would it have taken for us to actually continue developing a friendship?
Don’t wait for them to say something to you
You can’t wait for someone else to do the dirty work. Look at me, if I never “stalked” her walking around our neighborhood I may have never met her. Without her life may have been pretty boring in our old neighborhood? So open your mouth, say hello and start talking.
Meeting other moms that have the same interests as you can be difficult and stressful. It may even be more stressful when you started dating. There is hope and ways to do it. I know, I am proof now that I found my new mom friends.